I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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