we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i love accidental penises.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
