This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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