Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
