At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
