i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize