So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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