you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
