I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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