can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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