What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize