Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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