me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
