She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
