no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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