would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
4 words: hood of his car
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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