Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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