Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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