i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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