Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
