i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
