Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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