just come out here and I will go home with you...
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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