Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
