i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You were trust falling into bushes
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
