I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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