Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
