So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
