i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
