i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
