My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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