tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
