You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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