If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize