can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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