My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
