Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
