What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
