yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
