She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He shit in the fireplace
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
