ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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