I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
where are you?
Hypothermia
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
