do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
