I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
