woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
