gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
