he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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