So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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