my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize