I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
