her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
