can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
