if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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