when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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