They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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