dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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