it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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