I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It was a blind-side dick pic.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
